Performance Review

A performance review has the potential to drive fear into the hearts of those being evaluated. When it is coming, you begin to wonder: Did I do enough?  Were the results good enough? What if I missed something? This kind of stress can be daunting, though it is a natural part of putting yourself under the microscope so your work and achievements can be assessed.  The goal o these kinds of reviews is to help the person being evaluated to see the potential they have in some areas and the liability they present in others.  While performance reviews are a common practice in workplaces in multiple fields, it should also be a part of the way we live our personal lives as well.

If you have never stepped back and asked yourself what the good, bad, and ugly of your personal life is then you are neglecting your own potential opportunities and looming failures.  So what would a personal performance review look like?  It begins with a series of questions… Some examples might include:

What are the results of my behaviors in my relationships?

What are the opportunities I have that I am not taking full advantage of?

What are the issues that are constantly causing problems in my life?  How do I solve them?

Where do I hope to be at this time next year and what is keeping me from getting there?

You could list a thousand more questions to honestly assess where you are.  The point is to get a clear picture of the person you are and what it will take to get you where you want to be.  Because it can be difficult to see some of these things in ourselves, it would probably be a good idea to invite some others to help you in the process.  It could be a spouse or a close friend.  Find someone who loves you enough to be honest with you. 

Finally, make sure that you invite God into the process of self-evaluation as well.  One of the greatest kings in the pages of the Bible was King David. He wrote the following in Psalm 139,

"Search me, O God, and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts! And see if there be any grievous way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting!"

God knows you better than you know yourself.  He can help you in your personal life Performance Review.  Knowing yourself is one of the best characteristics a person can have.  Start with an honest assessment of where you are.  You will be glad you did.

How Far Would You Go To Accomplish Your Dream?

Would you quit your day job?  Would you take the hit financially?  Would you go back to school?  This is a sampling of some of the big sacrifices we think about when it comes to accomplishing our dreams.  After all, big dreams often require big sacrifices.  These kinds of sacrifices take a great deal of personal courage and come after long seasons of prayer and thought.  For the dreamer, these kinds of sacrifices are a reality they are willing to pay.  However, there exists a whole series of smaller sacrifices that must be considered in accomplishing our dreams.

Think of it this way… For the one who desires to write a book, there is the daily discipline of writing, editing, sending in manuscripts, accepting critiques, working with literary agents.  For the one who desires to run a marathon, there is the reality of daily training, nutrition, and injury care.  For the one who desires to start a small business, there is the discipline of securing the initial investments, securing leases, hiring first employees, receiving and filling the first orders. 

These are small steps that lead to a greater reality.  Often, we make the mistake of counting the big costs of achieving our dreams without counting the smaller costs that will surely be a part of the journey.  You may be ready to sell it all for your dream, but are you ready to do diligence in the details required in bringing a vision into reality?  Are you willing to take the daily steps that will lead to your dream’s fruition? 

Maybe your next step is to sit down and write out a list of sacrifices big and small.  Think it through. Pray it through.  Then, with eyes wide open to the road ahead, commit to fulfill the dream God’s has placed on your heart.

A Winnie-the-Pooh Car life!

Moments after our car pulled into the garage, and we unloaded Caleb from his car seat, joy overtook his face!  After a long 9 hour drive he was so thankful to be out of the car and able to run and stretch his legs!  He bolted inside the house, and an instant giggle was heard outside!  I grabbed a few bags and headed inside only to find our sweet son pushing his Winnie-the-Pooh play car around the house!  His joy was contagious, and wasn’t found in one of the many incredible Christmas gifts he had received.  Instead, in that moment, his greatest joy was found in a toy he had already been playing with for months!

Many times we start a New Year with planning and looking forward toward the things that are ahead.  You spend time preparing for goals and new requirements at work.  You work toward getting your calendar organized for that upcoming family vacation, dinner party, or business trip.  Many times when 2012 arrives you have personal and professional resolutions already in place that you are trying desperately to live out.   In most cases, work or school has already been pushed to full-throttle and you find yourself looking toward and dreaming about your next vacation or break on the calendar!    Life can so quickly get ahead of us, and our break-neck pace spinning so out of control before we have time to even realize and slow down!  Don’t let that be your 2012!  Don’t miss these treasured first few weeks and months of a new year because you’re so focused on the things that are ahead.  Make sure that you take some time to look back, and find great joy in the things that have delighted you this past year!

During the Christmas season it’s easy to be reminded of the importance of spending time treasuring the people and things around us that have brought great blessing.  Why not spend the start of 2012, treasuring the people and things that have already (and continue to) bring you great joy!  Go look for that “Winnie-the-Pooh car”, and allow it to bring a giggle to your heart like it once did!  I guarantee that doing so will allow you to keep what matters most in focus, for the start of 2012!

So why not do that today?  Why not decide today to cherish, for the rest of 2012, something you’re blessed by, or thankful for?  Let’s try to make 2012 a year of JOY and gratitude.  Truly, “The Lord has done GREAT things for us, and we are filled with JOY!” Ps. 126:3

Don't forget to track your progress!

Well, the first full week of 2012 is halfway over, and by now, you’re probably beginning to question those resolutions you made.  “Was it really worth it?”   “I’ve already messed up once…maybe I should just quit.”  “I haven’t even started yet…maybe I should just wait ‘till next year to start.”  These questions may be filling your brain, and doubts clouding your goals.  Assuredly, if they haven’t already, these doubts will soon come, as your 2011 routine has been altered as you try to accomplish your 2012 goals.  From personal experience I’ve found that there is only one way to keep you on track in accomplishing your new years resolution.  There’s only one way to really see them through to the end, and finish out 2012 proud of what you’ve accomplished.  Want to know what that one thing is?  Progress.

I’ve found that unless I feel like I’m making some sort of progress on my goals, I’ll give up on them.  Unless I see that the end is in sight, or that my hard work is actually paying off, I’m incredibly tempted to give up and go back to where I started.  That’s why recording your progress is a key essential to maintaining your goals.  So, the next question to ask, is based on your goal, what does that look like?

Well, if your goal is to loose weight, you need to first, determine exactly how much you plan to loose, (and how long you want to take to loose it!) and write it down.  Then, every single day you need to get on the scale.  (Preferably the same time every day, so that your weight doesn’t fluctuate incorrectly.  For instance, if you always weigh yourself before breakfast, it won’t encourage you at all to weigh yourself following a delicious Chicken Pot Pie dinner!)  Then, one more step… you need to write down your weight every day.  That way, you can watch your weight head toward your goal, and be encouraged at each “baby step” you make toward your goal.

If your goal is to read books this year, determine how many books.  Maybe 12 a year – that’s just 1 a month!  Write it down, and check it off as you read it!  You’ll be so encouraged as you watch your book list start from 12 and whittle its way down.

If your goal is to pay off your credit card debt, then write down your spending goal, and include every dollar you’re able to save and put toward that debt. 

Get the idea?  Write it down so that you can watch your progress!

I’ve included a free download for you to use as you track your progress (if you are trying to loose weight), but truly you can create a spreadsheet to track any of your individual goals.  You may even be able to find one online already created!  


Click HERE for your free 8-week weight loss journal download!

Merry Christmas!!

Merry Christmas!!!

We hope that you are enjoying your Christmas with Family today!  We sure are!!

Our daily, 'Navigating the rope' posts will resume January 2nd, 2012!  For this next week, take some time and enjoy being with family!  

Coming soon!  

Tips on how to make New Year's Resolutions Last, 

as well as a list of attainable New Year's Resolutions! 

It Really Is A Wonderful Life

Old George Bailey was having a “Blue Christmas”.  Frustrated by the hand life had dealt him, he was ready to throw in the towel.  Just as he reached the end of his rope, Clarence (an angel without wings) shows him the difference his life has made in the lives of other people.  The heartwarming tale has been played and replayed each year at Christmas time.  Though the screen shows the telling signs of an aging film as images appear in black and white, the story still relates to millions who tune in each year. 

The reason the message of the film is so enduring is because we all want to know that our lives have significance.  Perhaps because it falls at the end of each year, December seems to be the most introspective of months.  We take stock of all that we are and all that we have accomplished and wonder if it really amounted to anything.  In the end, depending on your measure of success in this kind of introspection you can be inspired or depressed.

It is at this point that we have to realize something George Bailey discovers.  The key to his life’s significance was not getting out of Bedford Falls, making money, or even the success of his little savings and loan.  The key to his success was the relationships he had cultivated with those who really mattered.  At the end of the film, person after person lines up to give some spare cash to help out the down-on-his-luck Bailey.  This is a great symbol of the richness of return that we gain when we invest in relationships.  

What creates a wonderful life is the relationships we treasure with those around us.  Be encouraged this Christmas.  You have surely made the difference in the life of others around you.  If you are beginning to think about resolutions for 2012, think about the relationships you intend to cultivate and grow in the New Year.

Isn't There Anyone Who Knows What Christmas is All About?!?!

It is December 14th. By now you have been completely immersed in the Christmas season.  You have no doubt done some Christmas shopping.  Perhaps you have even attended a couple of Christmas parties.  With the big day still 11 days away, we can already begin to feel the effects of the season wearing us down.  One comedian recently wrote, "Having trouble deciding what to do with the next 4 minutes. Listen to the song Christmas Shoes or slam my face against the pingpong table."  He has obviously had his fill of holiday tunes.

At this point maybe you feel like joining Charlie Brown yelling out, "Isn't There Anyone Who Knows What Christmas is All About?!?!"In the classic Christmas cartoon, the frustrated Peanut member cries out for meaning.  Listen to the words quoted by his buddy Linus in response...

"And there were in the same country shepherds abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night. And, lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the Lord shone round about them: and they were sore afraid. And the angel said unto them, Fear not: for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people. For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, which is Christ the Lord. And this shall be a sign unto you; Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger. And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God, and saying, Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men." (Luke 2:8-14 KJV)

This Christmas season, don't miss God who came as a baby wrapped in swaddling clothes laid in a manger. He came to bring peace and good will toward men... Including you! 

Choose Cheer

So this is “the most wonderful time of year” where everyone is supposed to be of “good cheer”, right?  Long lines, traffic in the parking lots, out of stock items, family tensions, and a slew of other stressors make “cheer” seem like a distant holiday relic.  Perhaps there used to be cheer around Christmas time, but maybe it is now a distant memory captured in a Norman Rockwell painting of a different era of holiday celebration.  Has cheer become a casualty of the Christmas rush?  Maybe.  Maybe not.  The answer is up to you.

We are the determining force behind our attitudes, cheer included.  You can allow the hustle and bustle of the season to rob us of the joy that is supposed to be indicative of this season.  You can blame outside circumstances and situations.  Ultimately, the choice of our holiday happiness is our own.  So why not choose cheer?

Grumbling is for Grinches.  Always fighting is for Abominable Snowmen.  At the close of this season you will have the opportunity to look back on these days with fondness or regret.  The difference will be the approach you took to the 12 days of Christmas (and then some).  Choose cheer!  You and your family will be glad that you did.

Here’s a few tips on how to choose cheer…

Smile

Say Thank You

Sing a Christmas Song (Out Loud)

Drink Hot Chocolate and Cider

Eat Christmas Cookies

Go Look at Neighborhood Lights

Bake Something For a Neighbor (Or Buy It From Kroger)

Eat a Candy Cane Just Because You Can

Start A New Christmas Tradition

Remember An Old Christmas Tradition

Sit Down For a Minute and Reflect On Your Favorite Christmas Memory

Remember the Reason for the Season (more on that in posts to come)

The Sunset of Life

I walked down the corridor checking the numbers posted on plastic plaques outside a never-ending line of doors.  As I passed rooms I heard the sounds of people cursing, people crying, TV’s broadcasting the news, and a handful of persons visiting with family and friends.  I had been through these halls a number of times before to visit other people, but today I was visiting someone new.  As a young minister on staff at a local church, I shared the rotation of hospital and nursing home visits with other ministers.  Today, Ms. Brown was on my list.

I knew Ms. Brown’s grandchildren well.  They were in the student ministry I led at the church.  However, I had not met Ms. Brown.  I understood she had been sick for sometime.  She was frequently in and out of facilities like this one.  When I saw her name on the list of those to visit I wasn’t sure what to expect.

Finally, I arrived at the door.  I knocked softly and inquired if it was okay for me to enter.  A small voice welcomed me.  When I walked in there were machines whirring and dispensing data on small screens that were unrecognizable to me.  There were tubes running to and fro around Ms. Brown.  I introduced myself to the elderly lady before me.  Immediately, her face lit up and she began talking.  Her sweet spirit filled the time of our visit, which ended up being longer than normal.  As I exited the room I was amazed how someone in such a condition in the latter years of life could be so kind-hearted.

Not every visit I have made to those in the sunset of life has been as pleasant.  Many were filled with inner bitterness that had consumed their souls as much as illness had consumed their body.  Others were engulfed in deep regret.  They longed to right a relationship or re-do the events that had long since transpired. 

Still, there are some like Ms. Brown.  Their lives have been full of love. While they have not been perfect (none of us are) they live with few regrets.  They have chosen to pass the days of their life with hope and joy even as those days are drawing to a close.  Psychologists and sociologists have studied the aging brain for decades and drawn some incredible conclusions.  Many have come to the same conclusion: the attitude you cultivate over the course of your life will be magnified in your final years.

What this means for all of us is the kind of person we choose to be today will ultimately be the kind of person we become tomorrow.  We would all like to believe we are getting better with age.  Hopefully we are more wise and understanding as the years of life come and go.  However, our chosen outlook on life today will greatly affect the person our grandchildren and great grandchildren will become acquainted with.  We cannot stop the aging and decay of our bodies.  We can choose to stop the decay of our attitudes, though.  Who do you hope to be in the sunset of life?

A Cure for the Complainer

Several weeks ago, a water main outside our neighborhood burst in the middle of the night.  The next morning our household awoke to make coffee, but none could be made.  We went to take a shower, but cleanliness could not be attained.  We tried to wet our toothbrushes, but there was not a drop available.  At least for the moment, all the conveniences of running water had ceased to exist in our home.  Our neighbors poured out of their houses hollering across dimly lit streets, “Do you have any water?”  The negative response echoed from home to home, “No.”  Without warning we were experiencing our own hydropocolypse.

I have seldom (if ever) thought about the blessing of having running water piped at desired temperatures into my home, but on that morning I did.  It was a blessing I never thought to count before it was momentarily taken away.  Then the next thought came… How many other blessings am I neglecting to count? 

A blessing that has not been counted is a blessing taken for granted.  I am sure there are hundreds if not thousands of them in my own life.  From little things that make life easier to big things we would have a hard time functioning without, there are many conveniences we possess which others could have only dreamed of. 

It is no small wonder that an atmosphere of complaint has been cultivated our lives.  When we cease to count the multitude of blessings around us, we are left to complain about what we do not have. Perhaps you grew up in a home where your complaints were met with common refrain, “Count your blessings.”  Of all the parental clichés in existence, that one was correct.

Take a moment today or tomorrow to reflect upon all the things you have to be thankful for.  When you are tempted to complain, consider the endless list of things for which you should be grateful.  When we have an attitude of gratitude we cut out the complainer in all of us.  

Foursquare

Foursquare has always been a popular P.E. game.  Each player steps into one large square containing four equally sized squares.  The game calls for one of those red-rubber balls that are useful for nearly every other P.E. sport from Dodgeball to Kickball.  Player One bounces the ball into one of the squares of their three opponents who must then deflect the ball into another opponent's square.  This goes on and on until the ball is double bounced in a single square or goes out of bounds.  It is a simple game and yet it bears a striking resemblance to a personal growth principle.

There are four quadrants concerning our time and tasks. 

1 – Important and Urgent: Things that have to be done.  These items generally shoot to the top of our top do list and get priority status on our schedules.

2 – Important and Not Urgent – These things may not cry out for our attention, but are important to get around to at some point.

3 – Un-Important and Urgent – These are things that seem to want your attention right now, but are not necessarily of great value in the grand scheme of things.

4 – Un-Important and Not Urgent – These are the things that are not pressing and have no great value in terms of progress.   However, Quad 4 cannot be ignored.  Down time and relaxation are found in this quadrant.

Each life has tasks, appointments, meetings, and requests of varying degrees of importance and urgency. In trying to create a life of balance, we have to learn to divide our time across the spectrum.  Here’s an example.

In a three-minute span, the following occurs.

·      You get a call that your son/daughter has slipped at school and hurt their ankle.  The child should be okay, but they will need to see a doctor.

·      When you got the call, you had just begun working on a special project for work.  It has great impact on your department, but isn’t due until the following week.

·      When you hung up the call, your spouse sends you a text that reads, “We are out of milk and bread.”

·      In the corner of your computer screen, a new email notification pops up reading “FW: Hilarious video of Dog with Red Balloon”.

You can probably already distinguish which things are most important and most urgent in the scenario.  Each thing fits somewhere in the spectrum referred to above. 

Quad 1 - It is important and urgent for you to take your child to the doctor.

Quad 2 – The work project will have to be done at some point if your value your job.

Quad 3 – Picking up milk and bread is an urgent, though not particularly important given the circumstances.

Quad 4 – You may love dogs, balloons, and red may be your favorite color, but this email is neither urgent nor important.

The key to balance is learning to prioritize wisely while creating enough margin to spend time in each of the quadrants.  If you live in Quad 1 and never spend any time in Quad 4, you will be heading for burnout.  If you spend all your moments in the urgency Quad 3 you will never accomplish the important things in Quad 2. Not everything is important.  Not everything is urgent.  However, each quadrant has merit for finding balance in our lives.

Back to our foursquare reference, the goal is to keep the ball bouncing from square to square.  It will probably bounce most often in Quads 1 and 2, but should occasionally bounce to 3 and 4 as well.  This is more of an art than an exact science.  No one gets it perfect all of the time.  However, as we look at our time in these kinds of terms we understand that balance is attainable.  Start thinking of ways to get the ball bouncing between Quads.  Be a master foursquare player.

** Elements of this concept have been  first attributed to Steven Covey and can be found in many of his resources.

The Uncut Key

This past summer, I had an intern named Robbie.  He was a hard working college student who had a lot of potential and every intention of using his life to the fullest.  This made him one of the best interns I had ever overseen.  There was one curious thing about Robbie, however.  He wore a common house key on a string around his neck.  Either he was trying to start a strange new fashion trend or he often locked himself out.  I had to learn the mystery of the key so I asked its origins.

Robbie explained that years ago, he heard a speaker talk about life as a key.  A key works by a series of grooves cut into the metal, which correlate to a lock.  When the grooves of the key fit in the lock a door can be opened.  Robbie told me every decision we make is like a groove being cut in the key of our life.  Our decisions will determine what doors will open for us in the future and which will remain locked.  Upon further examination, I realized that the key Robbie wore was an uncut key.

Life comes with millions of decisions to be made.  Some decisions are smaller in scope and carry little impact on our life as a whole.  Ham Sandwich or Turkey Sandwich.  White or Wheat.  Mustard or Mayo or Both.  The consequences of these decisions will affect your lunch, but necessarily your life’s trajectory. 

However, there are some decisions, which appear small at first, but create a pattern that ultimately leaves a deep groove cut into the key of our life.  Take for example the college student.  I don’t want to study tonight.  I don’t want to study for this course.  I don’t want to take this course.  I don’t want to major in this field.  Small decisions build toward larger ones, which set us on a path to a destination.

Years ago, when I was considering a decision between entering the workforce and doing some post graduate education a friend gave me a pearl of wisdom that I hope to never lose.  They told me, “Never shut the doors that God may open for you in the future.”  They were right.  Taking the long view in life certainly guards us from short-circuiting our abilities to excel in years to come.  You have to cut the right grooves in your key today to open the doors you want tomorrow.

So what does your key look like?  What doors do you hope to open with it?  No matter where you are, there is still some span of time in front of you.  Make the most of the moment you have to day so you can live the life you desire tomorrow.  

What are YOU Thankful for?

It’s the most “wonderful time of the year”…right?  Sometimes I feel that the hustle and bustle of this wintery season becomes overwhelming and many times covers up the whole reason we celebrate Thanksgiving and Christmas!  We get caught up in the music, food and parties, that we forget the real “reason for the season.”  I feel like I look forward to November and December every year, and each year they are over so quickly that I never spent anytime focusing on what the season was meant for in the first place. 

Christmas is on its way, but why don’t we start with Thanksgiving?  I love to enjoy Thanksgiving treats, smells, and experiences, but this year I’m reminded that I need to pay special attention to all of the many blessings I have to be thankful for.  In this past year alone God has given me hundreds of things to be thankful for, and if I worked at it, I bet I could develop a lengthy list right now of all of the things I have to give thanks.  BUT…. I’ve decided to make it easier than that!  Today, I want to challenge you to join me in a “November Thanks Challenge.”  From now until Thanksgiving Day, November 24^th, will you join me in recognizing something you’re especially thankful for?  What you do with your list is completely up to you.  In our home, we are going to build a turkey using Caleb’s handprint as feathers and write on each of the feathers different things we’re thankful for.  Perhaps for you, the turkey doesn’t really work with your “motif”, but you can write down something different each day in a journal.  Maybe you’ll even be so bold as to post your “thanks” on facebook or twitter each day.  (Talk about accountability!)  Tag the person you’re thankful for (if it’s an individual on that day) and they may be blown away!  Recognizing one thing that you’re thankful for, over the course of 24 days should be especially easy, and once you get started I bet you’ll see how hard it is to only choose “one” thing per day!  Whatever way you decide to record your “thanks”, let’s join together and spend this Thanksgiving season focusing on what it was meant for originally…. Thanks.

Missing the Goal

My sister has played soccer from the time she knew what the game was.  She played all throughout childhood, middle, and high school.  Even as she attends college at the University of Central Florida, she is coaching the JV girl’s soccer team at her high school alma mater.  As we discovered her ability to play the game our whole family had to learn a little about the world’s favorite sport. 

From what I gather, the point is to get the black and white ball into a net to score a goal.  I realize this over-simplifies a dynamic and energetic sport, but at the end of the game the only thing that gets you a “Win” is how many times you get a goal.  The whole world watches to see how many times the ball gets kicked or headed into the net.  It is why everyone collectively groans when the offense misses the goal or a defender deflects a ball away from the net.  Getting the goal is a moment of elation.  Missing the goal drives fans and players into a depression. 

So how do you bounce back from a missed goal?  Everybody has them.  A resolution made in January can become February’s forgotten failure.  For many, the finish line to our goals can be elusive.  It can be depressing to continually set goals that you never attain.  Over time, it can keep you from setting goals at all.  Instead, you may choose to settle for status quo instead.  But missing a goal does not have to be like this.

Every time you miss a goal, there is a wealth of information that makes your goal much more attainable in the future.

Learn From Your Mistakes – More often than not, we are the reason that we didn’t make it to our goals.  Decisions we made and commitments we failed to keep are the often the reason we didn’t accomplish what we set out to do.  When you miss a goal, reflect on what you could have done differently.  Otherwise, you will be tempted to fall victim to the same mistakes again. 

Define The Obstacles – Since you ventured a portion of the pathway to your goals before, you know what some of the obstacles are.  These outside influences are sure to be there waiting for you when you try again.  Therefore, plan for them on your next attempt.  Figure out a way to come up against the obstacles you face to work your way around them.

Keep Going – You are able to accomplish the practical goals that you set for yourself.  After you miss a goal, there is always the temptation to give up.  DON’T!  You can accomplish what you set out to do.  Don’t let the baggage of past failures weigh you down.  You would be surprised at your own ability to overcome if you put yourself to the test.  Keep going.

Missed goals are a part of life.  Watch the World Cup next time it is played.  You will discover that the best and most talented often miss the shots they take at the net.  Still, they don’t give up.  They learn from mistakes, define the obstacles, and keep going.  Those qualities make them contenders and champions.

Missing Today For Tomorrow

Recently, our little family of three pulled out some of the videos from when our son was first born and watched them together.  Caleb was glued to the image of a fragile little baby moving ever-so-slightly on the screen in front of him.  As a one-year-old, he has no idea this baby is now the toddler that he has become.  Even so, Caleb’s dad and mom could hardly believe this little baby had now transitioned into becoming a little boy.  It has been just over a year since Caleb entered our family’s life and we began to wonder like most parents do… Where did the time go?

Moments like this one help me to remember to live in the moment.  You see I have a tendency to be very future-focused.  Sometimes I run the hazard of missing today because I can’t get my mind off of tomorrow.  This can be because I am focused on a busy week ahead.  It could be because I am more focused on the long term planned.  If you are a goal setter as our family is then there is a tension that exists to keep your eyes directed to the future.  This can be healthy, but it can also consume you to the point of missing today.

You have probably heard the cliché before, “The joy is in the journey.”  The point is to enjoy the moments that you use to get where you are going as much as you enjoy arriving at your destination.  This can be hard to practice in a pace of life that often demands the question, “What’s next?”  However, if we fail to savor the here and now, then we are sure to miss the value of the moments that the future promises to us.  C.S. Lewis once said,

“The future is something which everyone reaches at the rate of 60 minutes an hour, whatever he does, whoever he is.”

As you consider the direction that your life is taking and the future that you are aspire to attain remember to enjoy the moments that God gives you along the way.  We cannot skip steps 2,3,4 in our quest to get to steps 5,6,7 – nor should we want to.  Soak in today. Capture here and now.  Lead a focused life that is going in the direction of your goals, but don’t forget to really live out each day as it comes.

Notes that make a difference

My mom is all about etiquette.  I can remember her trying so hard to teach me which side of the plate the fork goes, and engraving into my head the importance of looking someone in the eye when I’m meeting them, and shaking their hand firmly.  Today, many of the things she taught me have become second nature, and although I still sometimes forget which side of the dinner plate I’m supposed to put the bread plate, for the most part I easily recall the manners she taught.

One of the best things that she taught me, when I was just barely old enough to write my own name was the importance of a thank you note.  I can remember sitting on the floor in our basement in Ohio, with a list of the family members I was supposed to write thank you notes to.  She had crafted a note that I could copy, complete with fill-in-the-blanks for me to add my own personalization, and I was not allowed to return back upstairs to play until all of my thank you notes were finished.  The notes were extremely simple, (3-4 lines at most!) but the truth that she taught through that mandate was one that has stuck with me.  Thank you notes are important.

Please know I’m not just talking about a “Thank you so much.  We loved it.  Love, Beth and Steve” note.  Thank you notes that talk about what it was that we appreciated, and why it was extra helpful/or a blessing.  My mom taught me that people don’t “owe” me anything.  They don’t owe me their time, energy, money, or anything else…. the truth is that I’m supposed to be serving others without expecting anything in return, so really, anything that we receive, is an incredible gift.  Why then, would I not express how grateful and appreciative I am for someone giving up his or her own time, energy, or money to bless me?

Please know I don’t claim to be perfect in my thank you note writing.  I can think back to many times where I’ve just gotten so busy that I haven’t had a chance to write them, or never even thought about doing so.  (That doesn’t make it okay, it’s just being honest.)  However, I understand the great importance of writing a simple note, and can work toward being more consistent in my appreciation toward others.

AND…you know that as soon as Caleb is big enough to hold a pen and scribble down his own name, I’ll be giving him “form notes” to copy and send out his own Thank you notes.  I plan to teach him the same lessons I learned years ago…maybe just minus the dark, cold, scary basement.  (Just kidding, mom!)

So here’s my challenge for you today.  Who do you need to thank?  Is there someone who donated their time or energy into your world with efforts of helping, serving, or just making your life easier?  Why don’t you take 5 minutes and write them a thank you note today!  It will make all the difference!  

Are you a Thermostat or a Thermometer?

A couple weeks ago we were blessed to house 2 incredible teenagers while their parents went on vacation!  We had the best time with them, and our Wii got used more than it ever has before!  While they were staying with us, however, we had a myriad of “adventures.”  Our water was turned off for several hours because of a pipe that burst near hour home, and our son was very sick with “something going around.”  Tuesday night, reminded me of a very valuable lesson I heard years ago, however…something I now won’t quickly forget.

At about 3AM the monitor in our bedroom lit up because our sweet Caleb started screaming.  Trying to see if he would just “cry it out” we laid in bed, staring at the ceiling, waiting for him to calm down.  After several minutes of hearing him suffer, I got up and ran to his room only to find him crying in his crib.  I picked him up and discovered that his forehead was burning up!  He had been sick the day before, but he felt MUCH warmer than he had been.  About that time, Steve walked into the room and I asked him to run downstairs and get Caleb’s thermometer and some Tylenol.  Trying to keep things dark for the 2 teenagers sleeping, Steve fumbled all the way downstairs tripping and tumbling as he went.  (With all of the noise that we made, we really should have just turned on the lights!)  I carried our Caleb into our bedroom and could hear Steve dropping who knows what as he went through the cabinets, searching for the supplies I had commissioned him for.  Minutes later, he came into the room, and we took Caleb’s temperature – 104 degrees!  A feeling of panic and helplessness as I knew there was nothing I could do to console my sweet baby…. he just felt sick!  We gave him the Tylenol and finally, after an episode of the Wiggles and about 30 minutes passed, he fell back asleep.

The next morning, I read a passage in the bible that reminded me of an important lesson.  It said,

“I urge you to live a life worth of the calling you have received.  Be completely humble and gentle, be patient, bearing one another in love.  Make every effort to keep the unity of the spirit through the bond of peace.” Ephesians 4:1

Paul, the author of this passage, is giving us instructions to be a difference-maker, not just a thermometer, assessing the situation.  A lot of people can state a problem.  They can stick a “thermometer” in and read the result.  They can complain about the situation, and inspire frustration by recounting the problem with a negative attitude.  Few people choose to be difference –makers…few people choose to be a thermostat.

A thermostat controls the temperature.  It changes things.  It makes a difference.  A thermostat not only reads the current situation, but it does things to make the situation change.  A thermometer simply reports a problem, whining and complaining about how bad things are.

So which are you?  A thermostat or a thermometer? I want to be a thermostat, and make a difference in this world!  Why don’t you join me and start making a difference in your world, today!  

Spongey-ness

Our one-year-old is the most brilliant person I know.  He is learning a new language, expanding his motor-skills to heightened levels each day, and has even picked up a little sign language.  Amazingly, with a day’s worth of intentional instruction he can pick up a new skill.  Sure, he may not boast the same knowledge base as most people, but he is learning at an astounding rate.  As my wife put it the other day, “He is a sponge.”

Anyone who has been around a toddler recently can relate to their “Sponge-like” ability to learn.  Somewhere along the way, our ability to absorb information and skills naturally slows.  We slip into ruts of thinking and reasoning.  We settle for the current status of our potential giftedness, because we do not expect to be able to rise to new heights.

So the question becomes, are we doomed to a steady decline in our personal growth?  Not necessarily.  However, if we want to grow, intentionality is key.  We have to choose to soak in the things that will challenge us toward positive change. 

The average adult will read only two books per year following graduation.  Most halt their education after they receive a diploma.  Because the academic framework is no longer in place, the drive to be intentional in growth fades.  We have to re-capture our “spongey-ness”. 

Here are a few suggestions so begin soaking in…

1. Read – Just like the body, the mind needs to be extended daily for growth.  Reading accomplishes this, especially when we interact with text outside of our established knowledge.

2. Converse – Go beyond the “how is your day” conversation and dive into a topic with someone else.  Have the kind of conversation that kept you up late.  Talk with someone that thinks differently with you and practice talking without arguing.

3. Study – Pat Williams once said, “Read five books on a particular topic and you will be an expert on it.”  Whether or not you will obtain expert status from reading five books, you will surely be more knowledgeable about a topic than another person who has not studied as deeply on the issue.  Choose something to study that will be valuable to you and the world around you.

Personal growth is possible at any age or life stage.  It is a choice to increase your “spongey-ness” so let’s choose to make that choice today!

Who Will You Be In 2016?

“Five years from now you will be the same person that you are today except for the places you go, the people you meet, and the books that you read.”  I first heard this quote from Dr. Jay Strack at a leadership event.  Some attribute the original quote to the legendary Coach John Wooden, however Dr. Strack added the phrase “the places you go”.  When you stop to think about the person that you have become you realize the truth in those words. 

Places – The places that we go impact us more than we can fathom.  Memories are forged.  Cultures are absorbed.  Perspectives are changed as we see it first hand.  Staying in the same pathways of life creates a narrow view of the world around us.  Getting out of those pathways literally expands our horizons.  Where will you go in the next 5 years that will shape you?  On a mission trip? To a new culture? The world has never been more accessible.

People – Each of us has people who have changed the way we thought, lived, and dreamed.  People we interact with influence us.  A mentor, a friendship, or even casual acquaintance can make a real difference.  This can be a positive OR negative thing.  The key to being sure it is a positive influence is to be intentional in your relationships. Make sure you form at least a couple of relationships that add value to your life in addition to all the other relationships life throws at you.  Who are the people you will take with you over the next 5 years?  They may be the catalyst to creating change in your life.

Books – Whether you are an avid, recreational, or occasional reader, books have a way of getting inside of us.  You probably still remember some of your childhood favorites.  It has become a part of your story over the years.  The same is true for any book you pick up and push through today.  Books have the power to strengthen your resolve on an issue or challenge your thinking.  People of incredible personal depth are most often readers.  What will you read in the coming days that will lead your thinking over the next 5 years?  Pick up a good book and start reading.

All of us will change and grow into a slightly different version of ourselves in the next 5 years.  Choosing wisely in the above categories will ensure that the future version of you is a better one.